Rubby Perez
Brother of Chicago Cubs second baseman/shortstop/offensive black hole Neifi! Perez, Rubby hails from the Dominican Republic and specialises, not entirely surprisingly, in Merengue. His work has a certain canine theme running through it, as he sings songs about strange dogs ("El Perro Ajeno") and enjoys enchanting puppies.
Although Rubby is a singer and not a baseball player, he would probably be better in the two hole for the Cubs than Neifi! is. Let's face it, he couldn't be worse.