I always thought my friends and I would be together forever; I couldn't imagine life without them! I thought we'd somehow move into our own houses and be next door neighbors, and we'd still see each other regularly at church, or getting together to play video games, or going out to see a movie. We'd raise our families, and our kids would become friends too! But, it seems everyone has their own unique path in life, and those paths don't always go the same direction. As I got older, my friends seemed to move away one by one, whether for career endeavors, family reasons, or just because they had the opportunity to do so. And here I was, seemingly stuck in the same place. While there are certainly times I feel quite lonely, and miss the close friendships I had, there's been a lot of blessings in my life over the past several years. I've had a lot of opportunity to invest in myself, overcoming personal challenges, honing my craft, and becoming more and more prepared to pursue my dreams. I've also come to realize that while I might not have my childhood friends with me anymore, there are still many people in my life who love and support me. When I originally wrote this song, I had just recently discovered the band Between the Buried and Me, so this was just me trying to recreate their sound and style to better understand how to write music like that. When it came time to writing the lyrics, it was a bit challenging because the music starts off so triumphant, but later takes a dark turn and has something of a "tragic" ending. What could I write about that starts "happy" and ends "sad"? I thought about my friends moving away, and it seemed to be an appropriate topic for the tone of the music, expressing how we seemed inseparable in the beginning, but gradually divided over time. We're still friends; we still love each other, we just don't see each other much these days. It's kinda sad, but at least we have some joyful memories to look back on. more

This version of "Love's Not Fair" features only the vocal and a single acoustic guitar. Although I am primarily a metal artist, I am planning to do more "Stripped Down Versions" of my songs. This is a song about God's grace; at first, the expression “Love’s Not Fair” sounds like a complaint, but actually, it’s a FACT. Love IS not fair; that’s what it IS, and that’s what makes it LOVE. Often, what we consider “love” is actually quite selfish; we always have conditions with our love: “If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you”, but anyone can do that. What love actually is, is something we CHOOSE to give; and that choice is a lot harder to make when the recipient doesn’t deserve it. To choose to love in spite of whether or not it returns; that’s the same love that Jesus demonstrated for us, and that’s the kind of love that can actually makes a difference in the world. lyrics Verse: Staring at my own reflection through shattered bits of glass
 Showing me the perfect picture of who I really am But when You look at me, You never turn away Kneeling next to me, and picking up the pieces Chorus:
 Why do You care? I know I’m undeserving of the love that You have chosen to share
 It’s just not fair Verse: I am such a useless failure; fallen to the ground Every effort that I muster is never good enough But when You look at me Standing next to me, and holding out Your hand Chorus:
 Why do You care? I know I’m undeserving of the love that You have chosen to share
 It’s just not fair Bridge: If I’d take just one moment Away from my self loathing
 Then maybe I would notice
 That I’m not meant to be broken If I’d take just one moment Away from my self loathing
 Then maybe I would notice
 That I’m not meant to be broken So, stop beating up myself
 You took the punishment Yourself And it’s just foolish pride to think that I
 Could ever hurt myself enough to cover what I’ve done
 I could cut myself dry, and it still would never be enough Verse: It Makes no sense at all Chorus:
 Why do You care? I know I’m undeserving of the love that You have chosen to share
 It’s just not fair But love isn’t fair In spite of all I am, You chose to die for me, and that isn’t fair But love’s not fairmore

I originally wrote this song back around 2011 or 2012. A friend of mine found herself in some trouble and I thought she'd let me through to help her, but she cut me off along with everyone else. It hurts when you want so bad to be there for someone, but they won't let you through, and so I turned to music and wrote this song. I worked hard on this one; definitely my best mix to date. Sam is helping me with my music now; it's tough with some of these older songs since most of the parts are already written, but he helped out quite a bit with the drum arrangement, as well as some backup screams. He programed some patterns, then sent me the midi to run through a custom kit I made in Logic Pro. For guitar, I used my Schecter Hellraiser Solo 6 and recorded directly into my DAW running through my Behringer interface and my Presonus TubePre. I used the LeGion amp sim by LePou Plugins for my rhythm tone and the NC_8505_ Lead by Nick Crow Labs for my lead tone. For bass I used my Washburn XB100 and recorded directly in my DAW through the interface; the tone was made with mostly stock plugins. I recorded vocals with the Audio Technica AT2020. lyrics Lyrics: Well, I know you've coped with this loneliness. You think you're okay, but you've been tricked. I'm out here pleading, but you can't hear me; Your silent screams are deafening. Well, ignore my warning, just know that I'm sorry for you. And all this time, just know that I've tried for you. Come back to me! I thought I was different, but you made me like them; Begged you to hold on, but you still let go. And from the distance, I can see what's missing, But you never listen, so you'll never know. Well, ignore my warning, just know that I'm sorry for you. And all this time, just know that I've tried for you. Come back to me! You're my closest friend, And my deepest wound; My most painful scar, And I cherish you. Well, ignore my warning, just know that I'm sorry for you. And all this time, just know that I've tried for you. Come back to me!more