Used to be a loser small and Dull Living in a basement Then one night a great light Filled my place The Lord himself appeared He looked upon his face, he Didn't bring a sermon or his Staff But in his hand he held a Dick A glowing large dick Then take this dick and let Him decide your fate Use it and Watch how fast all of a Sudden God will help you And you elevate Go forth through the world Bless all the girls with it You will have unlimited Stamina Don't let anyone decide Your fate What you have now is superior and great I'm giving you the dick The dick of Jesus It's a magical dick Oh, it's got hidden powers It brings all kind of Wonders the world's never Seen Oh, go from town to town, Give it freely to all the Ladies around And bless every single one Of them with the seed of Jesus Wow, my dick turned Water Into beer It erased all one lady's fear It simply performs miracles I saw a girl, her reputation, It was broken One loving by me, she was Completely forgiven and Open Oh, the power in my hand Is the greatest piece of all The land The holy, holy dick, it's a Miracle My penis is from Jesus Oh yeah, I go through the Towns, throw it about and Give it all around The girls love it Girls love It's a magic penis for sure It could cure the joy of a Cure, sickness it will feed The masses I use it for good, I don't use It for evil I bless every girl with it Have them step up to the Pedestal and drop to their Knees Ah, Jesus gave me his dick Jesus gave me his dick and It is radioactive I just found this out a Couple days ago My friend at the college had A Geiger counter And it kept going Beep-Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep It go when he put it right Next to my penis live My penis is from Jesus and It's radioactive My penis is radioactive but It's a miracle My penis is from Jesus and It's radioactive Shine so bright you can see It from miles away Last week Santa came up to Me and asked me to guide His sleigh It glows in the dark and it's A miracle I'm giving it all away for Free I won't charge any lady, I Won't charge a woman a fee To touch my penis, it is a Miracle My penis is a miracle It's touched from God, it is God's I have God's penis, it's Attached to me Like a glow-in-the-dark Strap-on Most largest you'll ever see My penis is a miracle It's a miracle It is magical I turn water into beer What else can I say? That made the day more