Prod, Mixed, Mastered by John Deaf lyrics I should've died in my sleep I don't know why I should breathe I should've choked on the rice last night when I decided to breathe I should rush the lights full speed when I drive down the street cause vehicular homicide then I drive into a tree I should write about my morning depression and make it rhyme on a beat get sympathy so people can start being kinder to me but unfortunately I don't like nobody bothering me so being isolated is the only feasible option I see I should stab my ears with the nearest pen every time I hear my alarm I should turn on the car engine get it revvin' when im in the garage inhale the exhaust while im turning pale and I start to cough and im lost in the smog hallucinating as im talking to god When I get to my job im shooting the bitch that test me for corona then im choking the bakery clerk and register her as an organ donor Does the mouth count? I don't know but im ripping it off shit on it and ill use the tongue to lick it all off I get real down when I wake up into the same ol plain world where nothing is new Everyday is the same that's passing me it's the textbook definition of insanity Imma cuckoo that flew over the nest I need a shrink I don't know what im gonna do next im on the brink of wrapping a noose over my neck kick the stool wriggle like an eel losing my breath Grab the kitchen knife and stab you in your fucking throat Brain your fucking skull cause I really want to know what it feels like to have a piece of mind (Peace of mind) cause every morning that's something I leave behind I runaway to the edge of the earth baby whenever I see the morning sun I wanna get a needle sew together my eyelids so I'll never see the morning come never Hot flashes of shotgun dreams click clack pow show my thoughts for you to see I want a dirt slumber that I can revert under stone pillow and a blanket of grass I aint gonna last My bones can't take it no mo my truest feelings won't show Im baking in the hell stove im biting down the shell toes I just might be the sickest fuck off them all Gonna call out from my work no show at my job Imma slob imma freak imma dirty ass dog imma zero not a hero im a reject from god imma worm on the ground drying out in the sun im the shit of the earth imma hot loaded gun imma bore imma sigh imma fatherless child imma chemical imbalance imma murderous smile imma untied shoe and im ready to trip imma half-way empty bucket that im ready to kick Chorus: Every every every everyday every every every every night its another tv episode of my sad twisted crumbling pathetic life every every every every way every every every everywhere I don't see the meaning why I should live cause there Aint no real reason and I don't care Body achin' god forsaken aint sayin sorry when I chopped my arteries and now im late for the party Under operation doctors pain' down through the lobby My heart failing not prevailing Turing pale and its haunting White sheet over my head going ghost you won't know that im dead you'll get the message when I left you on read Im making my bed and sleeping 6ft in the dirt im letting Jesus take the wheel when I leave in a hearse Mouth filled with flies prescribed with white eye I think of homicide behind the nice side But I never let it show never let them know motions' overload im a ticking time bomb ready to blow Unload and bow bow reload and crouch down get low on the floor when I shot at a large crowd I cant take it no more im finna rip out my eyes pour rubber alcohol inside the socket mix it with lye Tell my parents that I love em it's apparent I wasn't as strong enough to have courage my heart is hard and. cold blooded I should melt it in a furnace my selfishness I should punish I rest in piss in the urine the diary of a grudged John be nimble John be quick imma fucked up nigga and I piece of shit tie me up to a car rip me limb from limb let me be someone else cause I don't wanna be him Can you hear me? I am not speaking Deep in the belly of your conscious echoes the wells of nothing I am not I you are nothing I don't feel nothing and it kills me slowly take my own hand cause I've always been lonely I don't feel nothing and it kills me slowly too many voices in my head that are droning Chorus: Every every every everyday every every every every night its another tv episode of my sad twisted crumbling pathetic life every every every every way every every every everywhere I don't see the meaning why I should live cause there Aint no real reason and I don't caremore