Lyrics- I’d rather feel pain than feel nothing at all Give me the heartbreak, the rage, let it fall This numbness is louder than thunder inside It’s not just my chest It’s my whole damn mind It’s not a weight in my stomach, it’s deeper than that It’s a chill through my spine that don’t ever go flat They say “just explain it” like that even works How do you paint what’s beyond the worst I scream but it echoes in silence and dust I cry but the tears don’t know who to trust I’ve got a good life, a family that’s pure But joy don’t knock at my door no more When did feeling alive turn into a chase Now it’s fear and anxiety wearing my face Every day’s the same same panic, same hell Same war in my head I don’t know how to tell I hide in my room like it’s safer in here Not ‘cause I’m lazy, but drowning in fear They say “You should talk,” like I haven’t before They don’t see how it fills up more If they felt what I feel Would they still say “heal” Would they call it a choice If they heard this voice I didn’t ask for this storm Didn’t ask to feel torn But they talk like it’s easy Like the pain don’t bleed me Weeks in the dark, no shower, no light My body’s still here but I’m losing the fight They say it’s routine just “fix your day” But my thoughts don’t leave when I clean my face I’ve told my story so many damn times Each time I talk, I lose more of my spine They say “You’re too much,” like I don’t agree Like I haven’t tried shutting down every piece of me They don’t feel the burn in my skin Or the crowd in my head that won’t let me win I’ve got more thoughts than people alive Each one screaming to just survive I walk in a world that never adapts And they wonder why I collapse They say “just choose a better path” But this ain’t a road, it’s a bloodbath If they felt what I feel Would they still say “heal” Would they call it a choice If they heard this voice I didn’t ask for this storm Didn’t ask to feel torn But they talk like it’s easy Like the pain don’t bleed me They say I should fight, that I’ve got the tools But they don’t live with this weight of rules They never knew what I’ve had to fake What it costs to smile when your soul just breaks I’m not lazy, i’m trying to breathe Trying to hold on to what’s underneath If they felt it for just one day They’d beg to take it all away If they felt what I feel Would they still say “heal” Would they call it a choice If they heard this voice I didn’t ask for this storm Didn’t ask to feel torn But they talk like it’s easy Like the pain don’t bleed me more