I want to thank everyone for the kind words, for taking time to listen and for all the love and support. Recording this was a challenge on many levels. What you hear is a finished song that sounds, more or less, appealing. What you can't hear is what came before. Write me a private message if you want to know more. Thank you again, everyone. - My voice threatened to surrender already during the first refrain, but I decided to keep the take and share it anyway. Passion and emotion over perfection. I hope you enjoy. With love, Alyana. - Lyrics: - Night leans on the window, rays of moonlight on the floor Coffee cooling in the cup you never drink from anymore Your picture by the bedside keeps staring through the glass As if you’re still deciding which world you want to pass - Years have folded over us, like pages in a book Your name’s a silent melody in every room I look Friends keep saying “time will heal,” like they can count my scars But they don’t know the way your absence rearranged my stars - And I am tired of being second choice A quiet echo to somebody else’s voice The almost, the maybe, the “sorry, not this time” A shadow standing at the edges of their lives I keep hoping for a hand that reaches back to mine Not just when it’s raining, but in the clear blue sky Will I ever be the one, not just a passing noise I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - I meet her in a barlight, with a half-forgotten smile She laughs at all my stories, so I stay a little while But her eyes keep drifting sideways to a phone that never sleeps I’m just filling in the silence for a love she couldn’t keep - I wait between the pauses where her real confessions hide Feel her checking distant doors while standing by my side I hold her when she's crying, when her loneliness won’t quit But when the morning opens, I can’t seem to ever fit - And I am tired of being second choice The safer harbor when their ships have lost their poise The backup plan, the number on the other line A borrowed heart they never really call “mine” I keep praying for a love that never has to hide That doesn’t treat my devotion like a place to bide Will I ever be the one, not just a softer voice I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - If you were here you’d trace my jaw, say “baby, don’t you see You were never meant to live as someone’s in-between” But your words are just a whisper in this cold, unyielding room And I’m dancing with my loneliness to this old piano tune - And I am tired of being second choice Of playing harmony to someone else’s noise I want a love that stands beside me in the light Not only reaching for my hand in the night Is there a heart that beats my name like it’s a prayer That doesn’t fade the moment I’m no longer “there” Will I ever be the one, a willing, burning voice I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - I lost you to a heaven that I’m not allowed to see Now I’m stranded in the waiting room of other people’s dreams You were the only heart that ever turned and walked to me Now I’m just the comfort they accept reluctantly - Everyone I dare to love is waiting on another voice And I am so tired, so tired of being second choice God, I am tired, so tired of being second choicemore