I wrote this song during times of darkness when tomorrows were mostly optional, when writing songs and playing them on my keyboard was one of the few things that kept me going. I posted this song last year as the piano piece it was written, but my guitarist Jürgen and me decided to record some of those songs together, and, if life allows us, play them live end of next year. Just guitar and voice. This is the first we finished. - This song is about how days often felt like. The song is long, quiet and deep, and doesn't sugarcoat. - "You'll Never Really Know" is for the ones who don’t have the words, whose pain echoes quietly behind closed doors. A voice for all who have ever fought their battles in silence. Those who whisper 'I tried' and never feel heard. It stands beside every unseen battle, every silenced heart, and every soul who survived in the dark. May it remind someone out there that their struggle matters, and they are not alone. - Perhaps, in today's fast-paced world, there is still someone out there who enjoys taking the time to listen to longer songs. To read the lyrics, to think about them, to reflect, to process. - And maybe it even touches a few hearts, or maybe someone might see themselves in the lyrics. - It will be released end of November. - With love Alyana - Lyrics: - Dawn slips through the curtains, I barely feel the light Heavy as the silence I carry through the night Sheets become an anchor I can't break away Promises I made myself all fade into gray Another list of"shoulds" I watch pile up in vain The weight of expectation pressing down like rain Every morning's mountain feels higher than before And I'm lost inside a darkness that no one can explore - Shadows in the corners whisper every name I've missed Echoes of frustration lingering like a mist I reach for silver linings, they turn to smoke and hide My hands are always empty, my hope just set aside With every step, it's harder to prove the world is wrong Their anger only tells me that I don't belong All my strength dissolves beneath the things they say I'm sinking in this silence, don't know how to get away - How to tell you that I tried when my trying goes unseen When the battles in my mind keep shattering my dreams You see undone dishes but not the war inside my head You scold me for my stillness when I can't get out of bed You call me good for nothing as I slowly disappear But every day's a struggle just to face another year My worth erodes with every word you throw and cast aside If you only knew the truth How to tell you that I tried - I'm learning how to fake it, to smile and play along But every hollow gesture only shows that something's wrong I wish that I could show you the pain beneath my skin To make you understand why it's so hard to begin Your voices fill the hallway, my courage slips away There's safety in this darkness where no one asks me to stay Every little failure feels carved into my bones And loneliness surrounds me even when I'm not alone - You measure love with checklists and answers on display But hearts aren't built from perfect, we're fragile in our way I see your disappointment reflected in your eyes Like storm clouds always gathering, never clear blue skies For every step I stumble, there's a thousand more regrets You tell me to be stronger, but forgive what you forget That silence isn't laziness, it's sorrow left unspoken A spirit quietly pleading, forever nearly broken - How to tell you that I tried when my trying goes unseen When the battles in my mind keep shattering my dreams You see undone dishes but not the war inside my head You scold me for my stillness when I can't get out of bed You call me good for nothing as I slowly disappear But every day's a struggle just to face another year My worth erodes with every word you throw and cast aside If you only knew the truth How to tell you that I tried - Every quiet morning, there's a battle waged anew Invisible and endless, if only you could view All the silent courage it takes just to survive If you could hear me whisper, believe me yes I tried - How to tell you that I tried when my trying goes unseen When the battles in my mind keep shattering my dreams You see undone dishes but not the war inside my head You scold me for my stillness when I can't get out of bed You call me good for nothing as I slowly disappear But every day's a struggle just to face another year My worth erodes with every word you throw and cast aside If you only knew the truth How to tell you that I tried - So if someday there is silence where my laughter used to be Remember all these quiet fights nobody else could see Not every war is visible, not every bruise will show How to tell you that I tried You'll never really knowmore

I want to thank everyone for the kind words, for taking time to listen and for all the love and support. Recording this was a challenge on many levels. What you hear is a finished song that sounds, more or less, appealing. What you can't hear is what came before. Write me a private message if you want to know more. Thank you again, everyone. - My voice threatened to surrender already during the first refrain, but I decided to keep the take and share it anyway. Passion and emotion over perfection. I hope you enjoy. With love, Alyana. - Lyrics: - Night leans on the window, rays of moonlight on the floor Coffee cooling in the cup you never drink from anymore Your picture by the bedside keeps staring through the glass As if you’re still deciding which world you want to pass - Years have folded over us, like pages in a book Your name’s a silent melody in every room I look Friends keep saying “time will heal,” like they can count my scars But they don’t know the way your absence rearranged my stars - And I am tired of being second choice A quiet echo to somebody else’s voice The almost, the maybe, the “sorry, not this time” A shadow standing at the edges of their lives I keep hoping for a hand that reaches back to mine Not just when it’s raining, but in the clear blue sky Will I ever be the one, not just a passing noise I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - I meet her in a barlight, with a half-forgotten smile She laughs at all my stories, so I stay a little while But her eyes keep drifting sideways to a phone that never sleeps I’m just filling in the silence for a love she couldn’t keep - I wait between the pauses where her real confessions hide Feel her checking distant doors while standing by my side I hold her when she's crying, when her loneliness won’t quit But when the morning opens, I can’t seem to ever fit - And I am tired of being second choice The safer harbor when their ships have lost their poise The backup plan, the number on the other line A borrowed heart they never really call “mine” I keep praying for a love that never has to hide That doesn’t treat my devotion like a place to bide Will I ever be the one, not just a softer voice I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - If you were here you’d trace my jaw, say “baby, don’t you see You were never meant to live as someone’s in-between” But your words are just a whisper in this cold, unyielding room And I’m dancing with my loneliness to this old piano tune - And I am tired of being second choice Of playing harmony to someone else’s noise I want a love that stands beside me in the light Not only reaching for my hand in the night Is there a heart that beats my name like it’s a prayer That doesn’t fade the moment I’m no longer “there” Will I ever be the one, a willing, burning voice I am so tired, so tired of being second choice - I lost you to a heaven that I’m not allowed to see Now I’m stranded in the waiting room of other people’s dreams You were the only heart that ever turned and walked to me Now I’m just the comfort they accept reluctantly - Everyone I dare to love is waiting on another voice And I am so tired, so tired of being second choice God, I am tired, so tired of being second choicemore