This one hurt.
It hurts even thinking back on the state I was in writing and recording this, which is ironic, since I never got out of it. I just plateaued out, kept going until the next time I fell over an edge down further, broke and then plateaued again. I'm so far gone that light seems incomprehensible now. I used to be able to imagine what it's like not hurting, but now there's just nothing there. I thought I was getting better, I really did, but I realize now I just don't have the contrast of peace and happiness left in my life. The pain isn't letting up, it's just grated my senses down. The darkness isn't dark anymore, my eyes have gotten used to it, and what I see is slowly killing me.more