It started with a simple TV discount… but escalated into total chaos. Shopping carts became battering rams, grandmas turned into gladiators, and somewhere between the electronics aisle and the frozen food section, humanity lost its last shred of dignity. Lyrics : Oh no, oh no it's that time again Deals so cheap, people lose their brains Doors burst open, madness unleashed A soccer mom tackled me for a TV Grandpa's swinging with a frying pan For half-off socks? Man, I don't understand Elbows flying, shopping carts crash Someone just suplexed a dude for cash Security's crying, they've lost all hope This ain't a sale—it's the end of the globe Black Friday Doomsday, run for your life Deals so deadly, will you survive Toys and toasters, fists collide Welcome to retail genocide A grandma snatched a PS5 She roundhouse kicked a guy, oh my The floor is lava-spilled milkshakes A toddler's riding a stack of plates Flat-screen TVs become riot shields Someone's using a broom as a spear I just wanted some discount shoes Now I'm running for my life - bad news Black Friday Doomsday, run for your life Deals so deadly, will you survive Toys and toasters, fists collide Welcome to retail genocidemore

Getting lost in IKEA is basically a rite of passage. One moment you're in the living room section, the next you're trapped in an endless maze of bookshelves, and suddenly you're questioning your entire existence in a fake apartment setup. By the time you find the exit, you've aged five years and somehow adopted a new Swedish lifestyle. Lyrics : I just wanted a shelf… just a simple shelf… but now… I think I live here… forever Walked in for a bookshelf, seemed like a breeze But now I'm trapped, send help please The arrows lie, they lead nowhere I saw a dude with a five-year stare Oh God, is that the same blue couch I swear I passed it three times now A family is crying in aisle nine Grandma's been missing since '99 Where is the exit? IK.. IK Lost in the void, no one can hear ya The meatballs lie, there's no escape Welcome to your flat-packed fate I tried to ask, but the staff just laughed "Another one lost, that's too bad They handed me an Allen key Said, "Build your own reality I found a tribe, they live in aisle three They've been here since '83 They speak in codes, they fear the light Their leader's name… is Billy the Shelf Knight Where is the exit? IK.. IK Lost in the void, no one can hear ya The meatballs lie, there's no escape Welcome to your flat-packed fate I see a door… it must be the way… Oh no… oh no… IT'S JUST ANOTHER DISPLAYmore

Ash found Pikachu vaping in Viridian shade Hiding Camels in his cheeks "Buddy, this ain't Charizard-grade "Pika-pi!" he coughed, blowing smoke rings with his Spark Now Team Rocket's his dealer… "Meowth, light up the park Ash bought Nicorette, said "Chew this, not the pain Pikachu side-eyed hard, then Thunderbolted the gum tray Misty yelled "Use Water Gun!" but the cigs just sizzled Now the Poké Center's a 24/7 vape clinic Pika-puff, Pika-puff, smoke 'em if you got 'em Ash's "Best Friend" badge is now a Nicotine Problem Thunderbolt's a lighter, Quick Attack's a craving Catch us in Lavender Town… where the air's misbehaving Charizard judges hard, blowing flames at his vice Bro, you used to shock towers—now you're hooked on spice Pikachu just shrugged, sparked a cig off his tail At least I'm not evolving… Raichu's just jail Brock baked "Quit Cookies" laced with kale and despair Pikachu traded 'em for a Black Market Snorlax's glare Nurse Joy prescribed "Touch Grass!" but he's glued to his vape Now the Safari Zone's just a nicotine escape Pika-puff, Pika-puff, smoke 'em if you got 'em Ash's "Best Friend" badge is now a Nicotine Problem Thunderbolt's a lighter, Quick Attack's a craving Catch us in Lavender Town… where the air's misbehaving The credits roll, Ash sighs, I tried, buddy… I tried Pikachu's puffing clouds shaped like "Gen 1 Pride The Pokédex whispers, "Addiction's a Slowpoke's game But Pikachu's too busy… renaming Thunder to Flamemore